THE GREAT PRETENDER

Iowa's Rennaissance Man

The struggle is real. To go deep, not wide.

I have been on this path for a long time. Conventional wisdom says that art, music and poetry will forever be cast to the wayside of obscurity if the artist does not chase the audience, hen peck them into paying attention and monetize the whole damn deal. But then…conventional thinking is not how great art is made, is it?

Each artist, writer, musician makes a choice, consciously or unconsciously: To chase a large crowd with surface connection, or earn a small crowd with deep connection.

I chose the latter on pure instinct. From the beginning of my music career, I chose small listening rooms instead of beer soaked clubs. Coffeehouses instead of beach parties. Wedding services instead of wedding dances. As an artist, I left grad-school halfway through because I felt the strangle hold of academia on my creative mind. I felt my link to inspiration slowly withering and my artistic expression was drifting into my mind, away from my heart. Thank God I had teachers, especially my mom, who taught me about this decision and the challenges that would come from choosing the road less traveled. It has made all the difference.

But that is not to say that it is easier now that I have decades behind me of finding my way through the weeds. In fact, the path is, by design, more full of bramble than ever. I get lost, frustrated and want to give up a lot of the time. But, it is in my most desperate hour that I am reminded of why I do this…creative thing. I never sought an audience for this in the beginning. I did everything I do now from the purest joy I had known as a frustrated kid. Lying on the living room floor sketching with a well sharpened Ticonderoga pencil, singing harmonies to James Taylor records in my messy room, or writing poems in the woods…each were open doors on my journey into the one place of peace I found early on. I protected that place from every form of conventional wisdom.

The struggle with this “business” has been wearing on me. I’ve had several dark nights of the soul. Hell…I had one last night. This past year has challenged my thinking on this path. I remind myself, over and over…success is not a numbers thing. It is an alignment thing.

So I will keep going deeper. Because, I am still that little kid who loved to draw and sing, even when no one was watching or listening.

Here is my first song for the year. It is about the ever present challenge of staying true to yourself. Pardon the rough phone recording. Someday I’ll get a better recorded version.

Enjoy!

THE GREAT PRETENDER

You open the door to let in the light
The cold is hell on your skin
Remember the days you were a friend of the night
But you promised not to go back there again

So you twist and you turn yourself into knots
Like your in some Vegas show
You are the great pretender, once the number one contender
Saying, “I hope you all enjoyed the show
But it’s time for me to go. It’s time to go.”

You wrestle with the devil while your babies sleep
You bite your lip to keep from making sound
But your salty tears betray you, as they make their own escape
It seems everyone wants to leave this town

So you twist and you turn yourself into knots
That only scouts and sailors would know
You are the great pretender, once the number one contender
Saying, “I hope you all enjoyed the show
But it’s time for me to go. It’s time to go.”

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Chad Elliott

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